The Survivor's Tool Kit

Time is like a river—always flowing, always moving forward. Whether we swim with the current, stand still, or let it push us downstream, it does not wait for us. And yet, so many people hesitate when faced with the changes they know they want to make. They tell themselves they will start tomorrow, next week, or next year—until suddenly, five years have passed, and they remain in the same place, no closer to the life they once imagined. This hesitation often stems from fear, uncertainty, or the mistaken belief that they have already missed their chance. However, the passage of time is indifferent to inaction. It will continue regardless of whether we pursue growth or remain stagnant. The key is recognizing that movement, no matter how small, is always an option. For those who feel a deep longing for change but struggle with procrastination, the journey toward transformation does not require drastic leaps. Instead, it requires consistent steps, however small they may seem. Procrastinatio...

Neurodivergent magical thinking is a term that combines the rich, imaginative mental landscapes often found in neurodivergent individuals with the psychological concept of magical thinking. Magical thinking, in its simplest form, is the belief that one’s thoughts, actions, or ideas can influence the world in ways that defy traditional cause and effect. For neurodivergent individuals, this phenomenon can be both a source of creativity and a potential challenge when misunderstood. What is Magical Thinking? Magical thinking is a cognitive process where people see connections or causations that are not grounded in empirical reality. It’s what makes us believe in lucky socks before a big test or avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk for fear of cosmic repercussions. While this trait is common in childhood and creativity, it also plays a role in how some neurodivergent minds process the world. For neurodivergent individuals, magical thinking can manifest in unique and often deeply persona...

  Have you ever found yourself in an argument that spiraled out of control, only to realize it all started with a single word— always or never ? These words, known as absolutes , function like emotional grenades in communication, exploding any chance of a rational discussion and leaving behind confusion, frustration, and possibly the need for chocolate therapy. While absolutes might feel good to say in the heat of the moment ( You never do the dishes! ), they rarely reflect reality and often lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and heightened emotions. This blog explores how absolutes shape conversations, why they tend to be inaccurate, and how you can communicate more effectively without them—because honestly, nobody always needs an argument at 8 a.m. over who left the milk out. What Are Absolutes in Communication? Absolutes are words or phrases that imply something is completely one way or another, with no room for nuance—kind of like saying pineapple should never be on pizza ...

  The classic fable of The Tortoise and the Hare is a childhood story most of us remember well. The hare, confident in his speed, races ahead, only to lose to the slow but steady tortoise. While this story is often used to teach children the value of perseverance, its deeper meaning holds important mental health lessons for people of all ages. In a world that often celebrates speed, productivity, and immediate results, we can all learn something from the tortoise’s steady approach to life. This blog explores how the lessons from this fable relate to our mental well-being and how we can strike a balance between motivation and sustainability in our personal growth. The Hare: Impulsivity, Overconfidence, and Burnout The hare starts the race full of energy, confident in his natural ability to win. Seeing no real competition, he underestimates the challenge and decides to take a nap, assuming he has plenty of time to secure victory. However, this overconfidence leads to his downfall—by...

  If mental health were a movie, happiness and purpose would be the dynamic duo, like Batman and Robin—except with less brooding and more fulfillment. Happiness is often seen as the ultimate goal, the elusive golden snitch of life, while purpose gives our existence direction, like a GPS that doesn’t randomly shout “recalculating” when you’re already lost. Together, they shape our mental well-being, keeping us from spiraling into existential dread or spending hours doom-scrolling through social media. This blog explores how happiness and purpose work together to foster a healthy mental perspective, backed by science, humor, and a sprinkle of common sense. Happiness: More Than Just a Fuzzy Feeling Happiness isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about overall life satisfaction and well-being. Researchers define happiness as a combination of life satisfaction, high positive emotions, and low negative emotions (Diener, 2000). In other words, it’s not about being deliriously joyful 24/7 (th...

  Bullying is often associated with childhood playgrounds, where children navigate social hierarchies and assert dominance in overt ways. However, bullying does not fade with age—it simply evolves. In adulthood, bullying takes on subtler yet equally destructive forms: gossiping, spreading rumors, being overly critical, and engaging in harsh judgment of others. While these behaviors may seem trivial or socially acceptable in certain circles, their effects can be profound, not only on the targets but also on the perpetrators. Causes of Adult Bullying Adult bullying stems from a variety of psychological, social, and environmental factors. Unlike childhood bullying, which often involves physical intimidation, adult bullying is more insidious, weaving itself into the fabric of social interactions and professional environments. Unresolved Insecurities Adults who engage in gossip, rumors, and judgmental behaviors often struggle with deep-seated insecurities. Their criticisms of others act...

Forgetting your mother’s birthday isn’t just a simple mistake—it’s an act of self-sabotage so severe that your nervous system may never fully recover. If you think missing a work deadline or being trapped in a never-ending group text is stressful, imagine realizing you forgot the one day dedicated to celebrating the woman who literally gave you life. The same woman who endured hours of labor, listened patiently (or not) to your endless childhood stories, and sat through at least one embarrassing parent-teacher conference on your behalf. And now? You’ve treated her special day like any other Tuesday. Wow. Just wow. Congratulations. You have officially opened the gates to the Emotional Trial by Fire. The courtroom of maternal disappointment is now in session, and you? You’re the defendant in a case with no winning outcome. The jury consists of your mother, your aunts, your siblings, and possibly even the dog , who somehow got wind of this and is already judging you. The sentence? Gu...

Imagine watching your best friend spill coffee all over themselves first thing in the morning. Would you glare at them and say, “Wow, nice job, genius. Hope you enjoy the smell of failure all day” or would you hand them a napkin and reassure them, “No worries, now you just smell like productivity” ? Now, be honest—how do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? If your inner dialogue resembles an angry drill sergeant or a reality TV judge who’s had too much caffeine, it might be time for a change. Learning to treat yourself with the same compassion you show others isn’t self-indulgence—it’s essential for mental well-being. Because let’s face it, if beating yourself up actually worked, you’d probably be a superhero by now. Understanding Self-Compassion According to Neff (2003), self-compassion consists of three main components: Self-kindness – Treating yourself with the same care and patience you’d show a good friend (and not like an internet troll lurking in your brain). Common ...

Anxious attachment, also known as anxious-preoccupied attachment, is like constantly checking the sky for rain, even when the sun is shining. This attachment style often develops when love and care feel unpredictable in childhood, creating a deep need for reassurance and an ever-present fear of abandonment in adulthood. It shapes how individuals interact in relationships, leading to patterns of overanalyzing, seeking constant validation, and struggling with emotional independence. While this attachment style may feel like a lifelong storm cloud, it is not a permanent forecast. Understanding its roots, impact, and strategies for healing can help individuals step out from under the rain and into the security of self-trust and healthier connections. Understanding Anxious Attachment Attachment theory, introduced by John Bowlby and expanded upon by Mary Ainsworth, explains how early childhood experiences lay the foundation for how we connect with others. Imagine a child as a young sapling, ...

  Political anxiety has become a significant mental health concern in recent years, driven by societal polarization, rapid media dissemination, and global uncertainty. Political polarization fosters an "us versus them" mentality, heightening insecurity and fear as individuals struggle to align themselves within a divided landscape. This dynamic can feel like being on a seesaw that never steadies, creating ongoing tension. Additionally, the relentless flood of information through social media and 24-hour news cycles overwhelms individuals, much like trying to drink from a firehose. The constant deluge, often filled with misinformation or exaggeration, exacerbates feelings of helplessness and fear (Van der Linden et al., 2020). Broader global crises such as climate change, economic instability, and international conflict further contribute to this anxiety, acting as storm clouds on the horizon that obscure clarity about the future. Compounding these factors is a decline in trus...

Infertility is like wandering through a labyrinth, each path holding the promise of an exit but ultimately circling back to heartbreak. For many, it’s not just a physical struggle but a deeply emotional journey, shaking the foundation of mental health. The constant cycle of hope, grief, and uncertainty can leave individuals feeling as if they’re weathering an unrelenting storm. The Emotional Toll of Trying to Conceive Trying to conceive amidst infertility often feels like planting seeds in dry, barren soil—no matter how much care you give, nothing seems to grow. This relentless effort takes a significant toll on mental and emotional health. Stress and anxiety are constant companions. The two-week wait between ovulation and a pregnancy test feels like standing on a precipice, bracing for an outcome that often brings disappointment. The repeated cycle of hope followed by heartbreak mirrors riding a roller coaster with no end in sight. Depression is another heavy weight to bear. Repeated ...

Neglect and abuse during childhood are among the most devastating adversities a person can endure. These experiences leave lasting scars, impacting emotional regulation, personal agency, and relationships well into adulthood. Understanding the nature of neglect and abuse, their long-term effects, and how to heal from these wounds is vital for breaking cycles of harm and fostering recovery. Neglect and abuse encompass a range of harmful behaviors inflicted by caregivers, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, as well as various forms of neglect. These experiences send a harmful message to children: their safety, needs, and well-being are not valued. This message undermines their emotional development, their belief in their ability to make decisions (personal agency), and their ability to form healthy relationships. Types of Neglect and Abuse Neglect and abuse take many forms, each of which uniquely affects a child’s emotional and psychological health. These include: Physical a...