The Survivor's Tool Kit

Impulsivity is something everyone struggles with at some point. Whether it’s blurting out a thought before thinking, making a quick decision you later regret, or clicking “buy” before checking your budget, impulse control is a critical skill in everyday life. For some, impulsivity is a minor inconvenience, but for others—especially those with ADHD—it can feel like trying to steer a racecar with faulty brakes. The good news? Impulse control is a skill that can be improved with practice. Whether impulsivity is a lifelong challenge or a situational struggle, learning how to slow down and think before acting can help in school, relationships, work, and personal growth (Barkley, 2015). Why Is Impulse Control So Hard? Impulse control is governed by the prefrontal cortex , the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, self-regulation, and planning. Imagine your brain as a giant air traffic control tower. When it’s functioning well, it directs thoughts and behaviors with precision, ma...

  Losing someone to suicide is like waking up in a world where gravity feels heavier, where every step forward is met with an invisible force pulling you back. The air feels different, the sun less warm, and laughter sounds distant—like an echo from a life that no longer belongs to you. Survivor’s guilt settles in like an unwelcome guest, whispering relentless questions: Why didn’t I see it coming? What if I had done more? The mind becomes a detective, combing through memories, searching for the moment everything could have changed. But healing is not about finding the perfect answer—it’s about learning to carry the weight of loss without letting it consume you. Understanding the Complexity of Survivor’s Guilt Survivor’s guilt is a natural but often overwhelming response to suicide loss. It is a deeply personal storm, yet one experienced by nearly all survivors. Guilt, at its core, is the mind’s desperate attempt to create order out of chaos. When tragedy strikes, it is easier to...

  The terms psychopath and sociopath are often used interchangeably in media and popular culture, painting a broad and often sensationalized picture of individuals who lack empathy and engage in manipulative or violent behaviors. However, from a clinical and mental health perspective, these terms describe two distinct conditions that fall under the umbrella of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) as outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2013). While both share common traits such as a disregard for social norms, lack of remorse, and manipulative tendencies, their underlying causes, neurological and environmental factors, and behavioral patterns differ significantly. Defining Psychopathy and Sociopathy Psychopathy Psychopathy is generally understood as a personality disorder characterized by emotional detachment, superficial charm, and a lack of empathy or remorse (Hare, 2003). Indi...

  Losing a child is an unspeakable sorrow, a grief that does not follow a predictable path or fade with time. It is not a wound that heals, nor a storm that passes. Instead, it is an ever-present shadow—sometimes overwhelming, sometimes quiet, but always there. For parents, it is the unnatural reversal of life’s expected order. A child is supposed to outlive their parents, to grow, to thrive, to carry forward their family’s legacy. When that future is stolen, it leaves behind a profound emptiness. For siblings, it is the loss of a lifelong companion, the person who shared their childhood, their history, their unspoken understanding of what it means to belong to their family. Their world becomes permanently altered, with an absence that echoes through every milestone, every memory, every ordinary day. Grief after the loss of a child is not something that resolves. It does not follow neat stages, nor does it become “easier” in the way many expect. Instead, it shifts, taking different...

  From the moment a child is born, they are handed an invisible rulebook based on gender—a set of expectations that dictates how they should behave, express emotions, and navigate the world. It’s like planting two trees in separate gardens: one given free reign to grow wild and tall, the other carefully pruned, shaped, and kept within boundaries. These early distinctions shape emotional intelligence, career aspirations, communication styles, and our understanding of relationships. But what if we tossed out the rulebook? What if children were raised without gendered expectations, free to develop without predefined roles? Let's explore how gendered upbringing influences adult identity and what might change if we raised all children under the same principles. How Boys and Girls Are Raised Differently 1. Emotional Expression: The Dam vs. the River Boys: From an early age, boys are often discouraged from expressing emotions such as sadness or fear. Phrases like “boys don’t cry” or “man...

  Change is as natural as the seasons, yet many people fight against it like a tree clinging to its leaves in the dead of winter. Whether it’s a shift in career, relationships, personal habits, or perspectives, change challenges our sense of security and control. While stability can feel comforting, resisting change is like trying to keep a river from flowing—it leads to stagnation, stress, and emotional exhaustion. Many believe that staying the same protects them from discomfort, but in reality, it often increases anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction. Imagine standing in quicksand—the more you resist moving forward, the deeper you sink. Understanding the mental health implications of avoiding change is essential for personal growth. This blog will explore why people resist change, how avoidance affects mental health, and strategies to embrace life’s natural evolution with resilience. Why Do We Avoid Change? The resistance to change is deeply rooted in psychological, emotional,...

Existential dread creeps in like a shadow at the edges of our consciousness, whispering questions we aren’t sure we want the answers to. What is the meaning of life? What happens when we die? Does anything we do truly matter? This deep and unsettling awareness of mortality, meaninglessness, and the vast unknown is an inevitable part of being human. Some may find ways to quiet these thoughts, burying themselves in work, relationships, or distractions, while others find themselves paralyzed by them. Existential dread is not simply a fleeting discomfort but a profound psychological experience that can shape our mental well-being, influence our behaviors, and alter the way we engage with the world. Understanding where it comes from and how to navigate it can be the difference between being consumed by the void and learning to dance with it. The Psychological Roots of Existential Dread At its core, existential dread is fueled by several fundamental fears—death, meaninglessness, isolation, a...

  Humans are creatures of meaning. Unlike animals that navigate life through instinct, we create elaborate stories, structures, and frameworks to give our existence direction. Human constructs —morality, time, success, money, identity, reality—are the invisible blueprints we live by. They dictate how we measure progress, define relationships, and understand the world around us. From an existential psychological perspective , these constructs are not fundamental truths. They are shared illusions , collectively agreed upon to provide order and predictability in a universe that offers no inherent meaning. This is not to say that constructs are useless. Quite the opposite. They are necessary for survival and social cohesion. But they are not absolute. If we are the architects of these illusions, why do we remain bound by them? What purpose do they serve? And what happens when we begin to see through them? The Origins of Human Constructs: Making Sense of the Chaos Imagine waking up in a...